I remember when my granddaughter got her first cavity at just over a year—felt like I’d failed my own daughter somehow, even though she was doing everything right. I get so anxious about dental stuff because I’ve had more root canals than I care to admit. The advice really is all over the place. We did cut out juice entirely after that, but honestly, sometimes it feels like you can do everything “right” and still run into problems. Genetics are no joke. I wish there were clearer answers, too. All you can do is keep trying and not beat yourself up.
It really does feel unfair sometimes, doesn’t it? You can brush, floss, skip juice, and still end up with a tiny cavity staring back at you. I see this all the time—parents and grandparents beating themselves up, when honestly, there’s only so much you can control. Genetics play a bigger role than most people realize. Some kids just have softer enamel or a different mix of mouth bacteria, and that can tip the scales no matter how careful you are.
Cutting out juice was a great move, though. Even so-called “healthy” snacks can hide a lot of sugar. But I hear you on the confusion—one dentist says “no bottles at night,” another says “just wipe the gums,” and you’re left wondering if you’re missing some magic step. I always tell people: focus on the basics, keep regular checkups, and try not to stress over every little thing. Teeth are important, but they’re not a report card on your parenting or grandparenting skills.
Teeth are important, but they’re not a report card on your parenting or grandparenting skills.
Honestly, I wish more folks heard this. I’ve seen parents nearly in tears over a surprise cavity, but sometimes you can do everything “right” and still get blindsided. My own nephew got his first cavity at 11 months—my sister was mortified, but she’s the most diligent brusher I know. Genetics are sneaky like that.
Teeth are important, but they’re not a report card on your parenting or grandparenting skills.
Couldn’t agree more. My grandson had a cavity before he could even walk, and my daughter was just beside herself. It’s easy to blame yourself, but honestly, sometimes it’s just the luck of the draw. We kept thinking maybe we missed something, but the dentist said some kids just have softer enamel. Brushing and diet help, but genetics play a huge part too. I wish more folks realized that—takes a bit of the pressure off.
It’s wild how much pressure there is around kids’ teeth, isn’t it? I remember when my nephew had a similar thing happen—he was barely crawling and already had a spot on one of his front teeth. My sister was mortified and kept replaying every bottle, snack, and bedtime she could remember. But the dentist said almost exactly what yours did: some kids are just more prone, no matter how careful you are.
I get why parents (and grandparents) feel responsible, though. There’s so much messaging about brushing and sugar, it’s easy to think it’s all on you if something goes wrong. But honestly, even as an adult with a mouthful of orthodontic hardware, I’ve learned that genetics can really mess with your best efforts. I brush and floss like it’s my job, but I still get the occasional cavity. Meanwhile, my friend basically lives on soda and has never had a filling in her life... go figure.
It does make me wonder how much we can actually control when it comes to our teeth. I mean, obviously good habits matter, but there’s only so much you can do if your enamel is just softer or your mouth chemistry is different. I wish people would talk about that more—takes away some of the guilt, and maybe even the judgment you sometimes get from other parents or family members.
Anyway, you’re definitely not alone in this. Dental stuff can be such a weird mix of science, luck, and a little bit of mystery. All you can do is keep up the good habits and try not to beat yourself up when things don’t go perfectly.
