just having the hygienist explain step-by-step—without showing everything—kept things calmer. Sometimes less is more.
That's interesting, because my kid actually got less anxious when they could see and touch the mirror and that little suction thing. But yeah, I get what you mean about some kids getting fixated on the scary parts... My niece saw the needle once and it was game over. Maybe it really depends on the kid? Anyone tried letting them bring a favorite toy or something as a distraction? That worked for us during cleanings—kind of gave her something else to focus on.
Letting kids bring a toy totally helped with my daughter, too. She had this little stuffed bunny she squeezed the whole time, and it was like her comfort shield. I get the thing about showing the tools, though—I was a super nervous patient as a kid, and I think if they'd let me see and touch stuff first, it might've helped me chill out a bit. But then again, my younger son is the opposite. If he even catches a glimpse of anything sharp or shiny, he freaks out and wants to go home. It's wild how different they are.
Honestly, I think you just have to read the kid and go with what seems to work for them. Distraction is huge, though—sometimes we play “I Spy” in the waiting room or during the cleaning. It doesn't magically erase the nerves, but it takes the edge off. I still get anxious myself, but seeing them handle it (even with some tears) makes me feel like we're doing okay.
Honestly, I think you just have to read the kid and go with what seems to work for them.
I get what you mean about reading the kid—my oldest wanted every detail explained, but my younger brother was the “don’t show me anything” type. Personally, I always needed to know exactly what was happening or my anxiety would skyrocket. I do think dentists sometimes underestimate how much info helps certain kids (and adults). Distraction works, but for some of us, feeling in control is the real game changer.
That makes a lot of sense. I’ve always been the type who wants a step-by-step breakdown—like, if they just say “open wide” without explaining what’s next, my mind goes wild with worst-case scenarios. I think having info really does help some of us process what’s happening and stay calm. It’s interesting how different people need totally different approaches, even in the same family.
I totally get that—if someone just tells me to “relax” without saying what’s coming next, my brain immediately starts inventing all sorts of horror movie scenarios. I wish they’d just narrate everything, like, “Now I’m going to use this thing that looks scary but actually just makes a buzzing noise.” That would help so much.
It’s funny though, because my sister is the total opposite. She says too much info freaks her out and she’d rather just be surprised (which, to me, sounds like pure chaos). I guess it really depends on the person. Do you think it changes as kids get older? Like, does a step-by-step breakdown help a nervous five-year-old, or do they just want a distraction? I remember when I was a kid, the dentist gave me a sticker and I forgot all about the cleaning... until the next time.
Curious if anyone’s tried those “tell-show-do” tricks with their kids—does it actually work, or do some kids just want to zone out and watch cartoons?
