if he’s tired or cranky and we only manage one, I focus on making that one count
I get wanting to pick your battles, but honestly, I worry skipping even a single brush can let plaque build up fast, especially for older folks. Maybe it’s my anxiety talking, but I’ve seen small lapses turn into bigger issues. My aunt missed just a few days after a surgery and ended up with a gum infection—cost us way more down the line. I know perfection isn’t realistic, but sometimes “good enough” feels risky...
I totally get where you’re coming from—skipping even one brushing makes me nervous, too. My dad’s in assisted living, and I’m always stressing about his teeth because he’s not the best at letting people help. I’ve seen how quickly things can go south; he missed a couple days after a hospital stay and suddenly needed a deep cleaning he absolutely hated.
But honestly, there are days when it just doesn’t happen, no matter how hard we try. I beat myself up about it, but then I remember the nurses saying that one really thorough brush is better than a rushed or stressful attempt twice. Still, it’s hard not to worry about what could happen if it becomes a habit.
I guess all we can do is keep trying our best and not let the guilt eat us alive. It’s tough finding that balance between being realistic and not letting things slide too much... You’re definitely not alone in feeling anxious about it.
I beat myself up about it, but then I remember the nurses saying that one really thorough brush is better than a rushed or stressful attempt twice.
That bit really hit home for me. I’m always second-guessing if we’re doing “enough,” especially since my mom’s on a fixed income and dental stuff gets pricey fast. I used to freak out every time she’d miss a brushing, imagining the bills piling up if she needed another deep cleaning or (worse) a root canal. But honestly, like you said, sometimes it just doesn’t happen. I’ve learned to focus on quality over quantity, especially when she’s having a rough day.
Do you ever wonder if all the worry is worth it? I mean, yes, oral health is important, but at some point, stressing over every missed brush just drains you. My mom gets stubborn about letting anyone help, too—she once told me she’d rather skip brushing than have someone fuss at her. I try to respect her wishes, but it’s hard not to feel guilty.
Have you found any tricks that help your dad be more open to brushing? With my mom, sometimes letting her pick out a new toothpaste or toothbrush gives her a tiny sense of control, which makes things smoother. But other days, nothing works and... well, we try again later.
I totally get the anxiety about habits slipping. But honestly, I think you’re right—beating ourselves up doesn’t help anyone. We’re doing what we can with what we’ve got. If there was a magic solution for elder care brushing battles, I’d pay good money for it (well... within reason). Until then, just gotta keep showing up and not let the guilt take over.
I get where you’re coming from—those missed brushes used to haunt me too, especially after a big dental bill. But honestly, stressing over every single one just wore me out. You’re right, quality matters more, and some days just getting through is enough. Letting go of the guilt is tough, but you’re doing what you can.
