I’d rather pay a bit more now than deal with a lifelong dentist phobia later... but yeah, it stings when you see that bill.
I get where you’re coming from, but honestly, I’m not totally sold on nitrous being the only way to go. I was one of those super anxious kids at the dentist—like, white-knuckle grip on the chair, tears before we even got in the room. My parents never went for the “gas” route, mostly because of cost, but also because they were worried I’d get too used to needing it every time. They did a ton of prep with me instead—talked through what would happen, let me bring my stuffed animal, and the dentist was actually really patient. It took a few visits just to get comfortable enough for a filling, but it worked out.
Not saying that’s the right call for everyone, especially if a kid is totally panicked and nothing else helps. But sometimes I wonder if we jump to sedation too fast? I mean, yeah, the bill is rough, but also… isn’t there something to be said for helping kids build up their own coping skills? Like, if I’d had nitrous every time, maybe I’d still be scared as an adult because I never learned to handle it without help.
I’ve got a kiddo now who’s not thrilled about the dentist either (runs in the family, I guess). We’ve tried music and letting her pick a small toy to bring in, and honestly, it’s been hit or miss. But each time seems just a little easier. Maybe if she needed something more invasive I’d reconsider, but for now I feel okay sticking with distraction and lots of reassurance.
Anyway, just my two cents. Not knocking anyone who goes the nitrous route—sometimes you gotta do what works. Just think there’s value in trying other stuff first if you can swing it.
But sometimes I wonder if we jump to sedation too fast? I mean, yeah, the bill is rough, but also… isn’t there something to be said for helping kids build up their own coping skills?
That really resonates with me. I was a nervous wreck as a kid at the dentist—full-on panic mode, even for cleanings. My parents leaned hard into the “let’s talk it through” approach, and while it took a few rocky visits, it did eventually help. I remember clutching my Walkman (dating myself here) and zoning out to music during fillings. It wasn’t easy, but over time, just knowing exactly what was coming made things less scary.
Now as an adult, I don’t love dental work, but I get through it without much drama. I do wonder if relying on sedation every time would’ve left me more dependent on it now.
That said, I totally get why some parents choose nitrous or other options—sometimes you just need to get through the appointment and avoid trauma. But if you can build up those coping skills gradually, it pays off in the long run. Every kid’s different, though. Sometimes it’s trial and error to figure out what sticks.
I totally get where you’re coming from. My son freaked out before his first filling, and I was torn between just getting him sedated or trying to help him face it. We ended up going step by step—lots of practice visits, letting him hold the suction, even just sitting in the chair for a few minutes. It took longer, but he eventually got through it without meds. Now he’s way less scared for checkups. Not saying that works for everyone, but I’m glad we tried it first.
It’s really encouraging to hear that gradual exposure worked for your son. I see a lot of families torn between wanting to avoid sedation and wanting to spare their kids anxiety. Honestly, I get anxious just thinking about pushing a child into something they're not ready for, so I tend to err on the side of caution… but sometimes you just can’t avoid it. Every kid’s threshold is so different, and as much as we’d love for everyone to respond well to desensitization, it’s not always that simple.
I’ve seen some parents try exactly what you described—short, no-pressure visits, maybe even letting the child just watch a cleaning or “play dentist” at home. Sometimes it works wonders, other times the anxiety just doesn’t budge. I remember one little guy who would panic even at the sight of the chair, and no amount of sticker charts or practice visits made a difference. In his case, we had to use minimal sedation just to get through a simple procedure. Even then, I was second-guessing if we’d done enough to prep him beforehand.
I guess what I’m saying is, I always worry about the long-term impact—are we setting them up for more dental fear if we push too hard, or if they have a bad experience? But on the flip side, avoiding treatment isn’t really an option if there’s pain or infection. It’s a tricky balance. I do think your approach is ideal when it’s possible, but I wouldn’t beat myself up if it doesn’t work for every kid.
One thing I’ve noticed helps is letting the child be part of the decision-making, even in small ways. Like choosing which flavor of toothpaste, or which stuffed animal gets to “go first.” It sounds silly, but sometimes that little bit of control makes a difference. And honestly, sometimes just acknowledging that it’s scary can go a long way—kids pick up on when adults are nervous or trying too hard to make everything seem fine.
Anyway, huge respect for sticking it out with the slow approach. It takes patience most people don’t have.
You nailed it with the idea of giving kids a bit of control—sometimes it’s the smallest choices that help them feel braver. I’ve seen my own grandkids respond better when they get to “drive” the chair or pick out a silly mask for the dentist to wear. But I get where you’re coming from about the long-term impact. I still remember my own first dental visit back in the day—no one explained anything, and it spooked me for years. I think as long as you’re honest with kids about what’s happening (without sugarcoating), and you don’t force things before they’re ready, you’re doing the best you can. Sometimes the slow approach works, sometimes you do need a little help from sedation, and that’s not a failure.
