Totally get what you mean about naming the fear. I used to think keeping a “brave face” would help my daughter, but honestly, she picks up on everything anyway.
That’s been true for us too. Sometimes we’ll just say, “Yeah, this is a little scary,” and then it’s like the tension drops a notch. Distraction still helps, but being real about it seems to make things smoother for both of us.Funny how naming the fear sometimes takes its power away.
Funny how naming the fear sometimes takes its power away.
Honestly, I’ve seen this work in the chair too—kids (and adults) relax a bit when we just say, “Yeah, this is uncomfortable.” Ever tried letting your daughter ask the dentist questions herself? Sometimes that gives them a sense of control.
“Yeah, this is uncomfortable.”
That’s the truth. Once my dentist admitted a filling would sting, I stopped bracing for some magical pain-free moment that never came. I let my kid ask her own questions now too—she grilled the hygienist about the suction thing and seemed way less freaked out after. Also, if I’m paying for this, I at least want to know what’s going on in my mouth, right?
“if I’m paying for this, I at least want to know what’s going on in my mouth, right?”
I get where you’re coming from, but sometimes too much info just freaks people out more. I had a patient once who wanted a play-by-play, and halfway through, she changed her mind and asked for headphones and a blindfold—no joke. Step one: trust your gut on how much you want to know. Step two: don’t be afraid to ask for a break if you need it. And yeah, the suction thing is weird, but it’s way better than drooling all over yourself.
That’s actually happened to me—I thought I wanted every detail, but halfway through a crown redo, I just zoned out and focused on the ceiling tiles. I do like knowing the basics, though. It’s weird how your brain can flip from “tell me everything” to “just wake me up when it’s over.”
