How do you get your kids to actually brush their teeth?

Honestly, sometimes I just brush my teeth next to him and act like it’s the most exciting part of my day… which is either very sad or very effective, depending on how you look at it.

This cracked me up because I do the exact same thing - my daughter gives me this “are you for real?” look every time. I swear the more I hype it up, the more suspicious she gets. The only thing that’s stuck is letting her brush my teeth (with supervision, obviously). She thinks it’s hilarious and then lets me do hers. Not sure if that’s a parenting win or just survival mode.

The only thing that’s stuck is letting her brush my teeth (with supervision, obviously). She thinks it’s hilarious and then lets me do hers.

That’s actually genius. My son’s always been way more invested in brushing when he feels like he’s “helping” me first. If I just hand him the brush and say, “your turn,” he’s suddenly got spaghetti arms. But if he gets to brush my teeth (or at least try), he’s all in. I used to think it was a weird workaround, but honestly, whatever gets the job done. The dentist said his teeth look great, so I’ll take it.

I get the appeal - kids love feeling in charge. But I’ve noticed with my niece that if she brushes my teeth first, she sometimes gets distracted and rushes through her own after.

“If I just hand him the brush and say, ‘your turn,’ he’s suddenly got spaghetti arms.”

She likes seeing her progress, and it keeps the routine focused on her teeth, not mine. Might not be as fun, but it’s been more consistent.

The sticker chart idea sounds practical. I get what you mean about “spaghetti arms” - my nephew just zones out if it’s his turn after helping me. The visual progress seems to keep him on task longer. I guess making it about their own teeth helps focus.

The sticker chart idea sounds practical. I get what you mean about “spaghetti arms” - my nephew just zones out if it’s his turn after helping me. The visual progress seems to keep him on task longer. I guess making it about their own teeth helps focus.

That’s been my experience, too. Kids really do tune out fast if it feels like they’re just tagging along with your routine, or if it’s too much about what you want, not what they’re doing themselves. I’ve seen way more buy-in when my daughter gets to track her own brushing - she’ll even remind me if I forget the sticker sometimes.

I know some folks say rewards like sticker charts aren’t sustainable long-term, but honestly, whatever gets them brushing consistently is a win in my book. The “visual progress” thing you mentioned is huge - just seeing those stickers add up gives them a sense of accomplishment, and that seems to matter at this age.

The “spaghetti arms” description made me laugh because yep, I’ve watched my son literally flop over the sink when he’s not interested. It’s wild how quickly they can lose steam if they don’t feel like it matters to them.

I tried making toothbrushing a group activity for a while, but it ended up being more distracting than helpful. Once we switched to focusing on each kid’s own progress (with their own chart), things got smoother - less arguing, more actual brushing.

Some days are still a struggle, but honestly? Consistency beats fun most of the time. If stickers or charts help keep things moving, I say stick with it.

Tracking progress really does seem to tap into kids’ need for autonomy. I’ve noticed when my son feels like he’s “in charge” of his chart, he’s way more likely to brush without a fight. I do wonder if the novelty will wear off, but for now, it’s working better than anything else we’ve tried. Sometimes I think we overthink the reward part - if stickers keep the routine going, why not?

- Totally agree, the autonomy thing is huge.
- My daughter’s way more into brushing when she gets to pick the sticker and slap it on herself.
- I do wonder too if the sticker magic will fade... but honestly, I’ll take a few months of peace.
- Have you ever tried switching up the rewards or letting your kiddo make their own chart? I’m curious if that keeps it fresh longer.
- Sometimes I feel like we’re making a big deal out of nothing, but if it works, it works.

Sometimes I feel like we’re making a big deal out of nothing, but if it works, it works.

I totally get this, but honestly, I still stress about whether I’m setting up too many “rewards” for basic stuff. My son got so into the sticker chart that he started negotiating for extra stickers for other things - like putting on socks! It kind of backfired, and now brushing feels like a business deal. I wonder if just making brushing a non-negotiable routine (like washing hands) would help long-term, even if there’s more pushback at first. Anyone else tried skipping the rewards altogether?

- I hear you on the “business deal” vibe - it’s wild how fast they catch on to rewards.
- We phased out stickers after a while and just made brushing part of the bedtime routine, no extras.
- It was rough for a week or two, but honestly, now it’s just what we do - no more negotiations.
- Sometimes I think they actually like the predictability once they get used to it... even if there’s some drama at first.

Predictability is definitely underrated - kids seem to crave it, even if they act like it’s the end of the world at first. I tried singing a “brushing song” every night, which was a hit for about a week before it got vetoed. Anyone else’s kids ever get weirdly opinionated about toothpaste flavors? My youngest will only tolerate watermelon... which I never saw coming.

Watermelon toothpaste - now that’s a new one for me. My daughter went through a phase where she’d only accept the blue sparkly kind, and if we ran out, you’d think we were brushing with hot sauce. I’ve found that letting them pick their own toothbrush and toothpaste (within reason) helps a bit with buy-in, but even then, it’s a gamble. The predictability thing really is key, though... routines seem boring to us but apparently they’re gold for kids, even when they complain.

Letting kids pick their own toothpaste and toothbrush can definitely help, but I’ve actually had mixed results with that approach. My son went wild for the “bubblegum blast” flavor one month, then suddenly declared it “gross” and refused to use it the next - total whiplash. I’ve noticed that sometimes too much choice actually backfires and makes brushing even more of a battle.

What’s worked better for us is making brushing time less about the toothpaste flavor and more about the experience. We started using a silly brushing song (sometimes we just make up words) and a little hourglass timer, and oddly enough, he gets excited for that part now - even if he’s not thrilled about the toothpaste itself. I guess routines are helpful, but mixing in some novelty can keep things from getting stale for kids who get bored easily.

It’s probably different for every kid, though. I just wish someone had warned me how many toothpaste flavors I’d have to sample along the way...

I get what you’re saying about making brushing fun, but honestly, I think the whole “let them pick” approach is overrated. When my grandkids visit, I stick to one mild flavor - no fancy options. It cuts down on drama and they know what to expect. Too many choices just seems to give them an excuse to complain. Kids adapt if you keep things consistent, in my experience. Novelty’s fine, but sometimes less is more when it comes to routines.

Interesting point about consistency. I’ve seen families who swear by just one toothpaste and it works for them - less fuss, less negotiation. But I do wonder, do your grandkids ever push back or get bored with the same routine? Sometimes I notice kids who are used to a single flavor just go through the motions and don’t really brush well, almost like they’re on autopilot.

I get that too many choices can turn into a power struggle (I’ve watched a five-year-old meltdown over “sparkle mint” vs “bubblegum” more times than I care to admit), but every once in a while, switching things up seems to snap them out of that zombie brushing mode. Have you ever tried adding a silly timer or a song, just to see if it makes any difference? Or maybe that’s just chaos waiting to happen...

Curious if you’ve found any tricks besides sticking with the basics. Sometimes I feel like it’s less about the toothpaste and more about the battle of wills - kids are crafty like that.

I totally get what you mean about kids just going through the motions. My niece used to be the queen of “pretend brushing” - she’d stand there, brush in mouth, staring into space, barely moving her arm. We tried all sorts of things: switching up toothpaste flavors, letting her pick her own toothbrush (she went through a phase where it had to be dinosaurs), even making up silly songs. Some days, it worked like a charm and she’d giggle her way through two full minutes. Other days, she’d just roll her eyes and ask if she could be done yet.

I’m with you that too many options can backfire. We had a meltdown once over whether she wanted “blue sparkles” or “watermelon,” and after that, we just stuck with whatever was already open. But I do think the novelty factor helps sometimes. Like, when we got one of those sand timers, she suddenly got competitive about brushing until the last grain dropped. It was a small thing, but it made brushing less of a chore for a while.

Honestly, I think you nailed it - it’s not really about the toothpaste. It’s more about the routine and, yeah, the battle of wills. The only thing that’s been consistent for us is inconsistency… if that makes sense. Sometimes we’d have to switch things up, sometimes just sticking to the basics worked better. I guess my only real “trick” is not being afraid to try something new when things get stale. And accepting that some nights, you just have to settle for “good enough.”

Kids are crafty, for sure. I swear they know exactly how to push buttons when it comes to brushing time. But hey, as long as they’re getting those teeth clean most nights, I call it a win.

That sand timer idea is genius - kids really do love a little competition. We’ve tried brushing together as a family, just to keep things light and show them it’s part of everyone’s routine. Sometimes it helps, sometimes they just get distracted watching us instead of brushing. Have you ever tried letting your niece brush your teeth for fun? It sounds weird, but sometimes flipping the roles makes them more interested in doing their own. Curious if anyone else has had luck with that kind of “reverse psychology”…

Letting my nephew brush my teeth was... honestly, an experience. He thought it was hilarious, and I’m pretty sure I ended up with more toothpaste on my nose than anywhere else. But he definitely got more excited about brushing his own after that. It’s like once he realized it wasn’t just a “grown-up rule,” he wanted to show me how it’s done - kids love being in charge, even if it means I risk getting poked in the gums.

I do wonder, though - has anyone tried some kind of reward system? I’m not talking about expensive toys or anything, but maybe stickers or letting them choose the bedtime story if they brush properly? I’m always looking for ways to keep things fun without breaking the bank. Sometimes I feel like I spend more on “motivational” gadgets than on actual toothpaste...

That’s such a great way to look at it - kids do love being in charge, and letting them “teach” us or take the lead can make a big difference. I’ve seen so many families get creative with rewards, and honestly, it’s usually the simple stuff that works best. Stickers are classic for a reason. Some parents I know use a sticker chart, and after a certain number of stickers, the kid gets to pick a movie or choose what’s for dinner. Others let their kids pick out their own toothbrush or toothpaste (the character ones are oddly motivating).

Letting them choose the bedtime story is a fantastic idea. I think the key is making brushing feel like something fun or special, not just another rule. One thing I’d add - sometimes just brushing together, or making it a goofy routine with music, does more than any prize. It’s easy to get caught up in buying gadgets, but honestly, most kids just want your attention and a bit of silliness. And yeah, you might end up with toothpaste everywhere... but at least everyone’s smiling.

sometimes just brushing together, or making it a goofy routine with music, does more than any prize.

This is spot on. I’ve actually tried the “family toothbrushing dance party” approach, and while my coordination isn’t exactly legendary, the kids seem to think it’s hilarious. I’m curious - has anyone had luck with timers or apps? I tried one of those brushing timer apps with silly animations, but my youngest got more interested in watching the phone than actually brushing... Trade-offs, I guess.

I tried one of those brushing timer apps with silly animations, but my youngest got more interested in watching the phone than actually brushing...

That’s exactly what happened with my grandkids. Those apps are clever, but honestly, I think they can be more distracting than helpful for some kids. The dance party idea is brilliant - wish that had been around when mine were little. At the end of the day, making it fun together seems to stick better than any gadget. Keep at it... those little routines really do add up over time.