My dad was exactly the same way, honestly. He’d always say, “If I can still chew, why mess with it?” For the longest time he just wouldn’t budge, even when my brother and I kept bringing up little things we noticed, like how he avoided certain foods or chewed on one side. It wasn’t until one of his fillings basically fell out during dinner that he finally agreed to go. I think embarrassment played a part too—he hated the idea of anyone seeing him with a gap, even if it was just us at home.
I’ve tried the money angle with him before, telling him how much more expensive it gets if you wait until something’s a real emergency. He’d just sigh and say, “Yeah, but what if nothing happens?” The hassle was a big deal for him, too. He didn’t want to take time off work or deal with appointments. What finally got him in wasn’t logic or cost—it was just plain old discomfort and not wanting to look silly.
I get your frustration with your mom. It’s so hard watching someone you care about ignore something that could help them feel better. Showing before-and-after pics is smart—I did that with my dad after I got my braces off, but he just joked that he was too old for “Hollywood teeth.” Sometimes I wonder if there’s just this generational thing about not wanting to fuss over health stuff unless it’s absolutely necessary.
It’s stressful, honestly. I still worry about him skipping cleanings or ignoring little aches. But I guess all you can do is keep gently reminding them and hope something clicks. You’re definitely not alone in this—sometimes parents are just stubborn in their own ways, and no amount of logic or proof seems to matter until they hit their own limit.
Hang in there. It’s tough, but you’re doing what you can. And hey, at least you tried the positive approach with your mom... sometimes that makes more difference than we realize, even if they don’t show it right away.
That sounds so familiar—my husband was the same way for years. He’d say, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” but meanwhile he was always chewing on the opposite side of his mouth. Do you think it’s partly pride, or just not wanting to admit things change as we age? I used to get frustrated, but honestly, once he got a bad toothache, suddenly he was making his own appointment. I guess some folks just have to feel it for themselves. Have you ever tried going with your mom to the dentist, like making it a joint trip? Sometimes that takes the edge off.
That’s interesting—my dad was always the “ignore it and it’ll go away” type too. I think there’s some pride, but honestly, he also just hated the disruption to his routine. Even when my son had to get fillings and I was explaining how much easier it is to do them early, Dad would just shrug and say, “Kids’ teeth are different.” Not sure he believed that, but it was his way of brushing it off.
We tried the joint appointment thing once. Didn’t really work for us. My son was anxious, so I thought maybe if Grandpa went first, it’d help. Instead, Dad just made jokes the whole time and the hygienist ended up spending half her time calming both of them down. It actually made my son more nervous, weirdly enough. Maybe it depends on personalities? Some people seem to find comfort in company, others just get more stubborn.
Curious if anyone’s ever tried just letting their parent handle it alone, no nagging or reminders. Does backing off ever make a difference? Part of me wonders if my pushing actually made him dig in his heels more.
Backing off sounds good in theory, but for my dad it was like giving him a hall pass to never go. The less I mentioned it, the more he convinced himself he clearly didn’t need a dentist at all—like, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.” Meanwhile, his teeth were waving little white flags.
I totally get what you mean about pushing making people dig in their heels. My strategy was more like stealth encouragement: I’d leave dental mailers around, casually talk up how nice cleanings feel, or even joke that whitening strips are cheaper than dentures. Sometimes a little humor disarms the stubbornness... sometimes it just gets an eye roll.
But honestly, I’ve seen both sides. My cousin’s mom finally scheduled on her own after everyone stopped nagging, so maybe some folks really do need to feel like it’s their choice. Personality plays a huge role. If your dad’s anything like mine, though, ignoring it just means he’ll wait until something hurts—then suddenly it’s an emergency and you’re both stressed.
Guess there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but I wouldn’t bank on the “ignore it and they’ll get inspired” approach working for everyone.
Guess there’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but I wouldn’t bank on the “ignore it and they’ll get inspired” approach working for everyone.
That’s pretty much what happened with my mom, too—she just kept putting it off until she chipped a tooth. I get the urge to back off, but I wonder if sharing more info about long-term consequences would help, or if that just sounds like more nagging. Has anyone tried showing before/after photos or stats about dental health? Curious if facts ever outweigh stubbornness, or if it’s just personality-dependent.
