What would you do if your parent refused to see the dentist?

Curious if facts ever outweigh stubbornness, or if it’s just personality-dependent.

Honestly, I think you hit the nail on the head with it being personality-dependent. My husband tried showing me all those scary photos and stats a few years back when I was dragging my feet about a cleaning. Didn’t really budge me - just made me feel more guilty, which made me avoid it even longer. What actually worked for me was hearing from a friend who had to get dentures way earlier than expected. That real-life story stuck with me more than any chart or stat.

Some folks just really don’t want to be told what to do, you know? Especially as we get older. Sometimes it helps to talk about the smaller stuff, like how much easier eating is after a cleaning or how nice it feels not to worry about tooth pain. The scare tactics never did much for me, but hearing about little day-to-day improvements made a difference. Just my two cents.

My mom was the queen of “I’m fine, I don’t need a dentist.” I tried the whole “here’s what could happen” routine and, yeah, she tuned out faster than me at a calculus lecture. What actually worked was, weirdly, complaining about my own braces. I’d moan about how my teeth ached after adjustments, but then I’d mention how much easier it was to chew or how I could finally eat popcorn without worrying about getting stuff stuck everywhere. She started asking questions - mostly to tease me, honestly - but it got her thinking.

If I’d tried the scare tactics, she’d have just dug in her heels. But when I talked about the little wins - like not having to fish spinach out of my brackets every meal - she could relate. She eventually went in for a cleaning, but only after realizing she wanted to keep her “real teeth” longer than her bridge club friends. Sometimes, it’s just about making it feel like their idea… or at least not like your idea.

Honestly, I think you nailed it with the “little wins” approach. My dad was the same - wouldn’t budge no matter how much I rattled off about cavities or gum disease. If I pushed too hard, he’d just get stubborn and say he’d lost enough teeth already to know what he’s doing. What finally worked for us was just chatting about how much easier it was for me to eat certain foods after a cleaning, or how my breath wasn’t as bad (which, yeah, he found hilarious).

- Avoid scare tactics - they usually just make people defensive.
- Share your own positive experiences, even if it’s just about fresher breath or not dreading cold drinks.
- Sometimes, letting them overhear you talk about dental stuff with someone else works better than a direct conversation.
- If they’re competitive, mention how someone they know is keeping their teeth healthy longer.

It’s weird, but making it casual and not a “you have to do this” thing seems to get through more often than not.

Avoid scare tactics - they usually just make people defensive.

Yeah, my mom would literally tune me out the second I started talking about “what could go wrong.” Ever tried bribing them with a favorite snack and then casually mentioning how much easier it is to eat after a cleaning? Worked for me… eventually. Did you ever get the “I’m too old for this” line? How’d you handle it?

That “I’m too old for this” line cracks me up - my dad pulled it on me, too. I remember him saying, “At my age, what difference does it make?” I tried to flip it and said something like, “Well, if you want to keep enjoying that steak, maybe it’s worth a shot.” Not sure if it was the food angle or just catching him in a good mood, but he finally agreed.

Honestly, I’ve found that pushing too hard just makes parents dig their heels in. Sometimes I’ll mention how much better people feel after a cleaning - like, less bad breath and easier eating - and leave it at that. No lectures. And yeah, snacks as a bribe? Solid move.

Curious if anyone else gets hit with the “I’ve made it this far without going” excuse... That one always trips me up. I usually just nod and say, “Fair point,” but then drop little hints about how dental stuff can sneak up on you. Sometimes you just have to plant the seed and hope they come around.

Yeah, I get the “I’ve made it this far” defense from my mom all the time. I usually try to frame it in terms of comfort - like, “If something starts hurting, it’s way worse to fix it later.” Sometimes I’ll mention how much harder it is to chew with missing teeth, and that gets her thinking. Not sure it always works, but at least she knows I care.

My dad used to say the same thing - “I’ve gone this long without issues.” I finally got through to him when he chipped a tooth on a pistachio and realized how much it messed up his eating. Sometimes it takes something like that to make the point hit home.

That’s so common, honestly. People think if their teeth have held up this long, they’re invincible. I’ve seen folks who ignored little issues for years, then one cracked molar later, they’re in my chair wishing they’d come sooner. I get it - dentist visits aren’t fun, but catching stuff early is way less painful (and cheaper) than waiting for a crisis. Sometimes, people just need that wake-up moment... but I wish it didn’t always have to be a broken tooth.

My daughter nagged me for years about my “old man teeth” and I always shrugged her off. Then a popcorn kernel did me in - cracked a molar right down the middle. Ended up with a crown and a much lighter wallet. Should’ve listened sooner…

That popcorn kernel story hit close to home. I put off a cracked filling for ages, thinking it was no big deal - until it turned into a nasty infection and a root canal. The cost and hassle were way worse than if I’d just gone in earlier. It’s tough to admit when our kids are right, but honestly, they usually just want us to avoid pain (and those surprise dental bills). At least you got through it in one piece... and with a new crown to show for it.

Really get where you’re coming from. I kept ignoring this tiny chip in my molar because it didn’t hurt much and, honestly, I just didn’t want to cough up the cash for a dentist visit. Fast forward a few months and suddenly I’m in agony on a Sunday night, and the only thing open is an emergency dentist that charges triple. Ended up with an abscess and lost a good chunk of my savings on that one.

It’s wild how something so minor can turn into a huge headache - literally and financially. My dad’s the same way about doctors in general, but especially dentists. He always says he’ll “tough it out.” He’s convinced he’s saving money, but after seeing my bill for the root canal, even he started thinking twice.

I try to remind him that putting stuff off usually means paying more later, but sometimes he just shrugs me off like I’m being dramatic. It’s frustrating because you don’t want to nag, but you also don’t want them in pain (or footing a ridiculous bill down the line). I’ve started offering to drive him or help with the paperwork - sometimes just making it easier helps.

Dental stuff is expensive either way, but the “wait and see” approach has never actually saved me money. If anything, it’s cost me more every time. Guess some lessons you have to learn the hard way...

Totally get the frustration. My kid chipped a tooth and I almost put it off too, thinking it wasn’t urgent. Glad I didn’t - turns out it was starting to decay underneath. I just tell my folks it’s like car maintenance: pay a little now or a lot later. Doesn’t always work, but sometimes the money angle gets through.

That car maintenance analogy is spot on. My mom always says, “It’s just a little tooth, what’s the worst that could happen?” Next thing you know, it’s a root canal and a giant bill. I get wanting to save money, but skipping the dentist usually backfires. I’d rather pay for a cleaning than a crown... learned that the hard way. Sometimes you gotta remind them that teeth don’t fix themselves, no matter how much soup they eat.

My dad is the same way - he’ll ignore a toothache and just chew on the other side, like that’s gonna trick his molars into healing themselves. I keep telling him, “You don’t get bonus points for toughing it out.” Honestly, I used to do the same thing until a tiny cavity turned into a three-hour root canal saga. Not fun, and definitely not cheap.

What gets me is how some parents will spend money on vitamins or fancy mouthwash but skip the actual dentist. I get that it’s expensive, but the cost of NOT going is usually worse in the end. Plus, painkillers only work for so long before you’re up at 2am Googling emergency dental clinics.

I try to remind my folks that regular checkups are like oil changes - skip enough of them and you’ll be stranded with a busted engine (or in this case, a swollen face). Sometimes they listen... sometimes they just say they’ll eat more yogurt and hope for the best.

I try to remind my folks that regular checkups are like oil changes - skip enough of them and you’ll be stranded with a busted engine (or in this case, a swollen face).

That analogy hits home. I’ve been putting off my own dental visit for way too long because honestly, the anxiety just gets to me. But hearing stories about root canals and late-night painkillers kind of makes me rethink things. My mom’s the same - she’ll buy all the “gum health” toothpaste but says dentists are too expensive. I get it, but the idea of a dental emergency freaks me out more than a routine checkup at this point. It’s tough trying to convince someone when you’re still working up the nerve yourself.

Honestly, I relate to the anxiety part - my mouth’s been in braces for ages and even routine cleanings make me sweat. Ever tried bribing your mom with a lunch date after her appointment? Wondering if that would work better than nagging…

- Lunch date > nagging, at least in my experience.
- My dad hates dentists - food bribery gets him in the chair way faster than guilt trips.
- Anxiety’s real though. Maybe try letting her pick the spot for lunch?
- Sometimes just giving them control over something helps more than pushing.
- I get sweaty palms just thinking about my next cleaning, so yeah, I get it...

Bribery with food totally works on my dad too - last time I promised him pancakes after his cleaning, and suddenly he was all in. Guilt trips just make him dig his heels in harder. Giving him a bit of control, like picking the time or the lunch spot, makes a difference. Honestly, I still get jittery before my own ortho appointments, so I get why anyone would want to bail. Sometimes you gotta just dangle the carrot (or, uh, donut) and cross your fingers.